Hi, my name is Chris Bates and I saw what I believe to be God. Please keep in mind that this "experience" that I had could be nothing more than an in depth mental dilution. I completely understand this, but I can not deny it. It was as real as anything else in existence. Also I have been told that it could have been Satan. This is true, and the result of it was absolutely painful, but as I'll explain, I don't think it was.

It all started about 15 years ago when I was a Senior in High School. A 14 year old Freshmen all of a sudden started clinging on to me. She was the friend of my friends girlfriend... In other words my friend had a girlfriend and she was her friend. :) Then about 2 weeks later, for no reason, she said that she didn't think we should see each other any more. By this time I had developed very strong feelings for her. I didn't know what I could do about it because I was leaving to go into the Navy and I was told that was the reason why. As time went by my feelings for her grew much stronger.

Fast forward about 11 years. She had married. Also my friend had married her friend so there was still this link to her. I went to my friends house and he told me of her pending divorce. This was like a "trigger" as soon as he said it I began to have epiphanies. The only way I have to explain it is fairy dust. You know how in cartoons fairy dust is sprinkled and it is just magic sparkles that fall, and the main body falls slowly but some sparkles fall faster. That was what it was like, only the sparkles were epiphanies. I stayed at my friends for about 30 more minutes before I felt as though I had to leave. I got in my car and drove home, and this took about another 30 minutes. By the time I got home parts of the main body were raining down on me.

I began to be able to jump back to what seemed like random times in my life. Not just remembering these times but actually BEING there. Having all of the knowledge, feelings, and worries that I had at that time. Then I could come back to me at home just like that. Then I went to another random time in my life and then back. This kept going on and on and I noticed that I could SEE all of these times before me. That's when I noticed a sort of barrier. Times of change or uncertainty and beyond this was black. Imagine looking at a clear night sky and then take away the stars. I was not afraid of it. There was nothing there to be afraid of.

It seemed as though I was going backwards, or farther away. Well the barrier had a curved shape so I followed the curve up and then things became much more serious. I remember realizing that this shape was human. The curve was his left shoulder and I was looking at his neck then his face. He was moving... He was ALIVE and he looked exactly like ME in every detail. At this point feelings become unexplainable. It was me but I was not in control of his movements. His body was facing me but his face was turned to his right. He was astronomically huge. The size of a planet or star.

Then he looked at me. This was when I knew it was God that I was looking at. Nothing can explain this. It is the greatest moment in my life. I remember thinking that this is heaven because I could look at him for eternity and be completely happy with only that. I felt so small and so lucky. Like I had just won the lottery but not just any lottery, but a 1 in infinity kind of lottery. He could have looked at anything but he looked at me. His eyes were paralyzingly beautiful. Just as his skin were the moments of my life, his eyes were the most beautiful moments. Times of amazement and pure joy. Times of laughter where I couldn't stop laughing. Close calls and amazing occurrences.

Then he communicated to me. He said nothing. His eyelids got bigger and he pointed with his entire right arm. As if to say "look". So I ran my eyes down his arm and beyond his finger and I saw something very far away. I somehow was able to zoom in with my sight and I saw her. The girl from high school. I could see that it was her from over her left shoulder as her back was to him. As soon as I realized it was her I immediately looked back at him and it was like a slow motion explosion. He came apart and I fell back to where I came from. It was over.

The entire time I could still see myself in my apartment. I made dinner, watched TV, listened to music, and just had a "normal" night at home. All the while seeing God. From start to finish it took about 7 hours. To me it was more like 7 seconds. Time was a strange thing. When I was looking at him I got the sense of eternity, that time doesn't matter. What is eternal will last forever.

So I went to bed and slept. When I woke up I had to pick up the pieces. I had to tell myself to do everything. After all I didn't know if I was alive. It slowly set in that I was. I didn't eat for about 4 days. It just wasn't that high on the list. I was a complete wreck. Everything was 100%.. EVERYTHING. It was like every switch was turned on, and even switches I didn't even know I had. Stress, stress, and more stress. A million miles a second. I tried talking about it to my friend but it came out as a bunch of babble. I was fortunately able to keep my cool enough to keep my job and I didn't get into any wrecks on the road, but I was, for lack of a better word "insane".

I didn't know what to do. After all he had pointed at her, he didn't say to do anything. So I took this to mean "go to" her. I then proceeded to go to her in any way I could think of. It took 10 weeks before I spoke to her. By this time it had went from wanting to speak to her about it, to everything being on the line. I finally got to speak to her on the phone and from what I can remember it was like nuclear war. Over very fast and completely devastating. This was the worst day of my life. I found out later from my friend that she never liked be in the first place. She had done the worst thing that annyone has ever done to me and her reason was so she could spend more time with her friend that was dating my friend. This was about 3 years ago. She is married again and thinks I'm crazy. I expect the next time I see her will be after death. I don't expect a happy ending. I expect to carry this for the rest of my life as it will last forever. I feel like Noah being told to build a boat and then having all of the trees burnt down before me.

So that's it. I'll send a picture of me so you will know exactly what he looked like, and chrisodip@yahoo.com is my e-mail address if anyone wants to know more.